lexical effluvia
Happy maddening's Birthday Day!

I trust that everyone will celebrate the day in an appropriate manner by mocking the addle-minded, by being superbly fantabulous, and by buying me fundamentalist paraphernalia so that i may use it for subversive purposes. That's right, as a present just for being me, Holly bought me the complete collection of Chick tracts. Which is awesome. Tragically, my favorite tract, 'Lisa', wasn't included in the package, nor is it still available on Chick's website. I really wanted that tract so that i can show others how to molest children on the path to true enlightenment.

Speaking of presents, does anyone have any genius ideas of what i want for xmas/Winter Solstice?

Having the close-knit family that i do, *cough*, everyone makes xmas lists and gift-givers generally stick to the lists for fear of disappointing the giftee. It's not an ideal system, but it's the best we can do until they breakdown and finally accept my "no gifts" plan. Thus, i need to tell these people what i want, keeping in mind that they're not going to buy me ironic religious paraphernalia nor my new $900 TV. Do you people know what i want?