luvrhino (luvrhino) wrote,

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evilness, wickedness and

Oh my golly, there's no way for me to do the section on "Sidewalk Counseling" justice. I'm just going to have to type up the whole damn thing and comment as i go along. I realize that the formatting makes it difficult to read, but SOB really did do this whole thing in one huge-ass paragraph.
Sidewalk Counseling is an important aspect of "Involvement in Pro - Life Ministries". As of July 20, 2002 over 3000 people (Unborn Children & Mothers) have been saved from the jaws of abortion. [I have no idea who's included in this number. He hasn't caused a client to turn back in the five years i've been escorting. In fact, only a handful of clients have been detoured from the clinic and, then, only by one of the more coherent protestors. Anyhoo...] The angle of approach that we use at IPLM [I love it when SOB implies that IPLM is somehow an entity comprising more than just SOB, himself, by his use of the plural] is that we tell the mothers the detrimental affects of abortion. We tell them that a lot of mothers have died from safe legal abortions and that it's estimated that 2 million mothers have died from safe legal abortions since Roe vs. Wade. [The hell? The Center for Disease Control puts the number around 342 deaths through 1998.] We get the two million figure from abortionists and Planned Parenthood's own statements in which they state that there is a 5% probability that a woman will die from the complications of abortion and the evil abortionists and Planned Parenthood always state that the percentage is the same from mothers who die from child birth. [First of all, abortion is 10 or 11 times safer for the woman than giving birth. Second of all, there isn't even close to a 5% chance that a woman giving birth will die in the US. It's a little better than 1-in-10,000. Third of all, why the hot holy hell am i bothering to debunk what is clearly the ramblings of a deranged man?] It's the ministry's belief that they (Planned Parenthood & Abortionists) are lying and that the estimate of mothers who have died from safe, legal abortions is higher than 2 million but Planned Parenthood and other Abortionist's death camps control the statistical data which is known as the Schumacher Institute [The Alan Guttmacher Institutue?] which is the Data Bank that is controlled by Planned Parenthood. We tell mothers that their are 34 studies that abortion causes breast cancer and that it can be verified by calling up the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research center in Seattle Washington. [The American Cancer Society, among many others, denies that there's an abortion/breast cancer link.] We tell them that it may cause severe bleeding and infection and that they may lose the ability to have children if they have an abortion. When I am sidewalk counseling the ministry has a flyer in which on one side it lists the detrimental affects of abortion and on the other side is a couple willing to adopt their baby. When the mother comes onto the public sidewalk, I just simply say the word "Here." with a flyer in my hand outstretched to them. They (Mothers contemplating abortion) will normally take it. [That's because we tell the clients that if they take SOB's flyer, he'll shut up. Otherwise, he'll yell at them their whole way in.] I pray to God after they take it, ask Jesus to ask the Holy Spirit to move the eyes of the mother to read the flyer. [Man, he's harassing the entire holy triumvirate. Fortunately, like most people, they ignore SOB and the clients usually just throw the flyer away.] Normally they may initially walk into the death camp but after the Holy Spirit convicts their heart, they will walk out of the death camp. [An alternative interpretation is that the client finished her appointment, which wasn't for abortion in the first place, and left the clinic death camp after getting her cooter check. I'll leave it as an exercise for the reader to determine which scenario is more likely.] Let's say the mother does not take the flyer then I verbally tell them the detrimental affects of abortion as they are walking into the death camp. After I verbally tell them the detrimental affects of abortion, I share with them the voice of the baby. [FYI, he does the voice of the baby very earnestly.] I tell them; Mommy & Daddy(I say Daddy if the boyfriend or husband is with them). I also say Grandma or Grandpa if the mother's parents are with them) this man is telling you the truth, Mommy & Daddy that a lot of mothers have died from safe - legal - abortions since Roe vs. Wade; Mommy & Daddy there are 34 studies that abortion causes Breast Cancer and if you don't care about me mommy & daddy please care about yourself in that you can confirm this by calling up the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center in Seattle Washington; Mommy & Daddy it may cause severe bleeding and infection and you may lose the ability to have children. A lot of times the parents of the unborn child will go into the death camp but will shortly leave. [This doesn't mean she changed her mind, assmunch. She was either there to pick up birth control pills or to make an appointment or any of several other reasons. Maybe this is where he's getting that 3000 number above?] It's important to note here that we describe the place where abortions take place as "Death camps" because their is a 100% probability that the unborn child will die from the safe - legal - abortion and a 5% probability that the mother will die from the safe - legal - abortion procedure. We refer to the doctor that performs the abortion procedure as "Butcher" because their is no healing that this person performs; as a matter of fact ["Fact." SOB. Hee.] their is a 95% probability that a mother will suffer from physical or psychological trauma and the other 5% is in total denial. [Double hee.] What I do is pray in between times as the mother come into the death camp. My years of experience is that a person should sidewalk counsel for two hours a day. The evilness and wickedness of these death camps is unbelievable and unless your walk with God is strong, one may put in more hours. [Is he saying that he leaves early because he's a strong god-walker or what? I'm confused.]

So i don't know about you people, but i just love that whole section. Actually, because of the dearth of comments, i'm not sure that you guys are enjoying any of this. If you've had enough of SOB's genius, just let me know and i'll stop. So you know, i won't be quoting entire future sections very often, but i thought that no simple summary of the above section would do it justice.

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