August 27th, 2007

trouser armadillos

I did the easy thing and went as Scott Ian for Party Like a Rock Star:

Sadly, they chopped off my left hand, which was also emphasizing my crotchal area.

Personally, i think i'm much hotter than fem-Kiss.

Being Mr. Ian had the benefit that it gave me an excuse to see what shaving my head entirely would be like. I generally don't like shaved heads on white guys due to tendency to make them look like giant roll-on deodorants. Also, I learned that I shouldn't have attempted to do this myself, as my head turned into a giant razor bump. My skull, she is not round. Finally, sleeping with semi-smooth pate was an interesting experience as my stubble pierced my pillowcase, causing the entire pillow to remain stuck to my head whenever i turned it.

On the other hand, i parlayed my sweet-ass look at the party into a date with a perfectly lovely, much too sheveled and wholesome-looking Courtney Love. She actually asked for my phone number before i hers, which is a first for someone i was actually interested in.

I was a bit concerned heading into the date, since i don't actually have a two-toned, eight-inch beard nor did i have anything pointed at my penis. Fortunately, she didn't seem too outwardly disappointed. Because i'm a true romantic, i took her to see Alexandra Pelosi's documentary on evangelical America.

Yes, i know, you're all jealous that you're not the one dating me. There's only so much me to go around.
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