At the Special Olympics Bowling Tournament last Saturday, i had two accidentally, awesomely named athletes. The first was named Alaric, which is the name of the Visigoth king that lead the first barbarian sacking of Rome in 410 CE. Somehow, his mom had never heard of this. Rather, all she knew was that Alaric was named after his uncle, but that it's pronounced differently.
The other athlete was named Dorian Ray. At least in this case, the father was aware of the similarity to Dorian Gray but said that it was unintentional. You would be proud that, after Dorian's many gutterballs, i refrained from cracking that "somewhere, in an attic, there's a portrait of this lane with all the bowling pins knocked over."
Finally, some among you are going to find this Archie McPhee item extremely necessary: